Sometimes a marriage that is unhealthy still has the potential for healing. Other times, the damage is so severe that the relationship is unsalvageable, and divorce becomes the only option. How do you know when you should start considering divorce or when reconciliation is still possible? 

There are several factors that, if present in your marriage, increase the likelihood that it will end in divorce. 

1. Multiple failed attempts to work out conflict

If you have taken multiple steps to work out your differences with your spouse, including seeking the help of a professional, and conflict persists, you may need to consider divorce. This is especially true if your spouse has not cooperated with attempts at conflict resolution by joining you in counseling or committing to the process. 

2. Bad beginning to the relationship

If your marriage began badly — you and your spouse engaged in a lot of criticism of one another from the time you first got together, for example — it indicates that the relationship is on a shaky foundation that is likely to fail sooner or later. 

Most relationships are a mix of good times and bad times. However, if you remember the bad times most when you look back at the beginning of your relationship, it is a sign that you should consider divorce. 

3. Overwhelming negative emotion

Sometimes your partner’s negativity can flood your system with emotions such as sadness and disbelief. If this is a frequent occurrence, yet it still comes as a shock every time, it is an emphatic sign that you should consider divorce. 

Even in the presence of these factors, divorce is not a foregone conclusion. However, there comes a time when you have to determine whether reconciliation is a realistic outcome.